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In the spirit of the Weird Al Yankovitch song, The eBay Song, the dumbest auctions from all over eBay. In the annals of DumbAuctions.com you will find mystery boxes that sold for thousands of dollars, jars of celebrity air, people who sold ad space on their bodies, pieces of toast with images of Michael Jackson, and all kinds of bizarre auctions that you would not believe. Check out our archives for stupid auctions about pimped out golf carts, a weird apple shaped like a butt, crazy traveling auctions worth hundreds of dollars, and all kinds of other strange auctions that you would not believe!


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Mystery Box

The eBay community finally got tired of seeing all the crazy mystery boxes. The bottom fell out of the pyramid, so to speak. When buyers started realizing that there was a reason that the sellers were putting these items into a cardboard box, where no one could see them, they stopped bidding. Much to my amazment, this took about 6 months.

That was 6 months of pure mind blowing craziness. However, someone has figured out a way to revive the greedy monster in all of us and make mystery auctions work again. You see, you promise the buyers a mystery box worth some huge value. Say $100,000 … and magically people once again piss money away for the off chance of wining something cool.

Word to the not so wise of us our there: If they say $100,000 and you paid 20 for it, then it is not worth $100,000.

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OCD

OCD, or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, is a real problem for many people. This man however appears to be affected only mildly. He feels the strong need to put all of his parking stubs into neat, chronological, piles in ziplock bags. He calls his affliction a "superior organizational skill". I call it crazy… but as I have seen again and again, crazy sells on ebay. So since he is actually unable to throw out all of these stubs, due to his OCD, perhaps one of you would be so kind as to buy them off of him and help him de-clutter his life some.
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Selling Price: $4.25
6 bids

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Year Book

Do you want a 1983 Syosset, NY yearbook? I know that is a strange question to ask. First of all, if you did not go to Syosset High School, then why would you want their year book?

What are the chances that someone that went to Syosset High School, and for some reason wants a new copy of the 1983 yearbook is going to see this auction? Well, I would say pretty small. Why so small? That is easy. First of all their are two types of people in high school, those who will keep their year books and those who won't. If you are one of those who won't, then you don't want to buy one now. If you are one of those people who will, then you already have one and don't need another. But hey, the proceeds go to charity… so that makes it worth buying!

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Selling Price: $17.16
9 bids

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Baldy

Want some very valuable ad space? How much are you willing to spend? Well, that is not the right question to ask… a better one would be, how much do you like inflicting pain on someone? A tattoo hurts a lot when there is nothing but some bone just below the skin. We are talking about ad space on someones head. They are offering his bald spot for your advertising needs…

There is a sob story in there about how they are down on their luck and really need some financial help… but we all know that you don't care about compassion or true need. Who worries about meaningful crap like that… all we care about is how much pain our money is going to cause, right?

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Selling Price: $30100.00
28 bids

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Foam Finger

I hate foam fingers. They are one of the most annoying creations ever. When I was little my brothers and I used to have foam finger fights, but he always won and so I harbor an unbelievable hatred for these creations. Why anyone would want to artificially enlarge their hand by attaching a foam prosthesis is beyond my comprehension.

There is only one thing that Dunce hates more than foam fingers, and that is foam fingers that are used to make crude sexual inuendos. So really, this foam finger really just made my day. The seller here seems to hope that his crude allusions to "fingering" and "pocket rockets" and "18 inches of fun" will inspire some would be hornballs to toss some money his way. Think it will work?

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Selling Price: $2.58
5 bids

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