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Dumb Auctions » Toast

Sometimes images and silhouettes of famous or dead people magically find their way onto pieces of toast or other baked goods. Sometimes, those things find their way into auctions. When that happens, you can be sure to find the auctions here, in the Toast section.



Sports Superstitions

Dunce has heard of athletes who wear the socks backwards, who never wash their jock strap, and who dance around three times in a circle while singing Mary Had a Little Lamb all to help them win a game. I have also heard of many fans who also have similar rituals to help their team win the game. As if somehow, your crazy ritual will propagate through the TV onto the field and help them win… no buying it. But in the spirit of that great tradition, Dunce presents to you: The superbowl winner predicting hot dog.
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Selling Price: $1.25
8 bids

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Jesus in my chicken fry

This auction might be an ad for Burger King in disguise. However, I seriously doubt that a company like burger king would pay an advertising agency any money to come up with such a poor excuse for a Jesus Icon. I mean, this chicken fry has a little bump on the top that sort of looks like a nose. Thats all it has though, no hair, no eyes… it looks more like a clown than Jesus. On the other hand, if the rest of the world sees something that I don't, then Burger King could legitimately claim a mandate by God.
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Selling Price: $0.99
0 bids

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Make your own Miracle

By miracle, they really mean make your own design in this piece of very burnt toast. You see, many people on eBay have profited from strange images that have mysteriously appeared on their toast in the morning. Some of those people have done a vary good job of making the images look naturally occurring, while others just scratched a rough drawing into a piece of charred bread.

If you have been dying to make your own little piece of bread art, I ask you why not just burn your own piece of bread. Who would buy burnt bread of eBay? Why? The only possible explanation is that you lack a toaster and/or oven of your own. But, really, if you don't own an oven or a toaster you probably have better things to be spending your money on than burnt toast on eBay!

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Selling Price: $0.01
1 bids

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Dorito Poe Hat

So the Jesus food thing has kind of worn off. All those fanatical Christian artifact collectors have started to catch on that these old gilled cheese sandwiches and funny shaped pieces of toast are not really Jesus. So how do you dupe them into giving you more money now? Switch to the Pope! There are still tuns of crazy people left who will pay ridiculous amounts of cash for fake pope relics!
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Selling Price: $3.25
9 bids

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F*&^ You, said the Potato chip

Dunce is getting real tired of people trying to see things in food that is not there. It is one thing to lay on a hill side with your buddy and try to point out the lude scenes that the clouds make, but this is just getting rediculous! There is no middle finger here.
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Selling Price: $0.99
1 bids

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