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Foam Finger

I hate foam fingers. They are one of the most annoying creations ever. When I was little my brothers and I used to have foam finger fights, but he always won and so I harbor an unbelievable hatred for these creations. Why anyone would want to artificially enlarge their hand by attaching a foam prosthesis is beyond my comprehension.

There is only one thing that Dunce hates more than foam fingers, and that is foam fingers that are used to make crude sexual inuendos. So really, this foam finger really just made my day. The seller here seems to hope that his crude allusions to "fingering" and "pocket rockets" and "18 inches of fun" will inspire some would be hornballs to toss some money his way. Think it will work?

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Selling Price: $2.58
5 bids

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Scray Witch Knife

This scary witch knife was bought at an estate sale. People find all kinds of things at an estate sale, but what dunce does not understand is who goes to estate sales and says, "Wow, that looks awesome, let's sell it on eBay."

If it is that awesome, then you should be keeping it. If it was some kind of really good luck, then you should not be giving it away. Even if you had 2 billion dollars, you should still keep the thing that you think helped you get the 2 billion dollars by giving you luck!

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Selling Price: $99.99
0 bids

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Party in Europe

Ever been to Stockholm? No, me neither. But if you like to go clubbing, then you should be bidding on this auction. We have posted auctions where people will party in your name, and we have posted auctions where people would party with you… but usually its your job to get yourself to the party.

Here is the awesome part about this auction. They pay for everything. If you win the auction they buy your plane ticket, they give you a place to stay for the night, they take you out clubbing in Stockholm! So really it's the Beginning of eBay moving into the travel agency business. They now also sell all inclusive vacations to Stockholm Sweden!

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Half Penny

half of a penny: We are not talking about a fractional cent, like the kind they tried to steal via a computer virus in Office Space. This is an auction for a penny which was, quite obviously, cut in half with a hack saw. Now, Dunce always gives credit where credit is due… sawing a penny in half takes some effort. But it is not like you can just take the two halfes into a bank and cash it in for a whole penny!

Want to know the craziest part of all? The bidding has reached over .5 cents! Not that you could bid .5 cents even if you wanted too… but just to put this in perspective for everyone, we are talking about $0.005!!!

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Emergency Paper Clip

This lady needs a loan. To get a loan she needs collateral. To get collateral she is trying to sell you an emergency paperclip. The paperclips are only $0.99, but then you tack on the $0.70 for shipping and she is making some nice dough…

Why would you help her buy buying a paperclip? Well, she wants to start a tanning salon? That not a good enough reason for you? Well, she put a picture of a hot girl that is almost naked in the auction. Are you motivated now?

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Selling Price: \$0.99

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