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Dumb Auctions » Body Art

This is where you will find all kinds of auctions where someone sold bodily real estate. Some people have just offered to wear clothing. Some people have sold tattoos on their body. Find out just how much the advertising space on your body is worth.



Darth Penis

More than a little disturbing, this auction is for a penis roll-play game kit. You can turn your penis into a Darth Penis. In case you did not know what a Darth Penis was, it is a horrible spoof on the famous Starwars character! Apparently there are people out there who are not satisfied with their penises and need to dress them up like movie characters.

You see, this is what makes America great! You can sell this kit, because it is satire and protected under copyright law. I can write this post because of the first amendment and no censor can stop me. You can boycott my website if it offends you because in America, everybody can do whatever they want!

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This auction has ended
Selling Price: $3.25
4 bids

Comments (3)

Baldy

Want some very valuable ad space? How much are you willing to spend? Well, that is not the right question to ask… a better one would be, how much do you like inflicting pain on someone? A tattoo hurts a lot when there is nothing but some bone just below the skin. We are talking about ad space on someones head. They are offering his bald spot for your advertising needs…

There is a sob story in there about how they are down on their luck and really need some financial help… but we all know that you don't care about compassion or true need. Who worries about meaningful crap like that… all we care about is how much pain our money is going to cause, right?

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This auction has ended
Selling Price: $30100.00
28 bids

Comments

Alien Implant

When you are going to come up with a back story, you need to put a little effort into it. If you are going to say that you had an alien implant in your arm, then you should think for a while about the details of this experience so that your story makes sense.

I will take you through some of the strange bull crap told in this auction. For one thing he claims that an he woke up one night to find lights coming from his arm. Great start there, I admit. Then he goes on to say that he left it there for a year! If you had lights coming out of your arm at night , would you leave it there? NO, you would not. You would have it removed… which brings me to my next point.

He said that finally after a year he decided that he had enough of this alien implant. So he goes into the bathroom with a razor blade and some pliers. He cuts a 4″ slice in his arm, and see this metal thing in there, which he removes with the pliers. At this point you are saying to yourself, "That guy is a bad ass." But you would be wrong, because then he goes to the ER to have his cut stitched up. Why is he bad ass enough to put a 4″ incision in his arm, but then he decides to go to the emergency room? I don't buy it.

Oh yeah, then there is the obvious falsity of his implant. It is quite clearly a small capacitor that he but the leads off of. He does nothing to disguise it further… let this be a lesson to all you would be weird auctioneers: Spend some time to do it right, if you are going to do it at all!

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Selling Price: $0.99
1 bids

Comments

G-String Diva

Not that Dunce has ever been to a strip club to know for sure, but if you believe what you see in the movies, then when you go to a strip club the rule is NO TOUCHING. I can understand that rule, it helps keep things up on the level.

But for those of you who are regular customers and just have had enough of that whole no touching thing… here is your chance to get a little bit closer. She is selling her G-string. It was her very first g-string that she wore on stage…She is sad to see it go, but it was a dare. So bid away on this stripper's panties!

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This auction has been removed from eBay

Comments (1)

Digital Art

Some people call it digital manipulation, others call it "PhotoChoping". But either way Dunce would rate this guy's art as average. He calls it "bang out" art. But really it is just taking your head from one picture and putting on someone famous or someone cool from anouther picture. If you take a look at his auction, you can tell he is trying… but untill I have to do a double take to figure out it has been modified I am not impressed!
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Selling Price: $0.15
2 bids

Comments (1)

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