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Alien Implant

When you are going to come up with a back story, you need to put a little effort into it. If you are going to say that you had an alien implant in your arm, then you should think for a while about the details of this experience so that your story makes sense.

I will take you through some of the strange bull crap told in this auction. For one thing he claims that an he woke up one night to find lights coming from his arm. Great start there, I admit. Then he goes on to say that he left it there for a year! If you had lights coming out of your arm at night , would you leave it there? NO, you would not. You would have it removed… which brings me to my next point.

He said that finally after a year he decided that he had enough of this alien implant. So he goes into the bathroom with a razor blade and some pliers. He cuts a 4″ slice in his arm, and see this metal thing in there, which he removes with the pliers. At this point you are saying to yourself, "That guy is a bad ass." But you would be wrong, because then he goes to the ER to have his cut stitched up. Why is he bad ass enough to put a 4″ incision in his arm, but then he decides to go to the emergency room? I don't buy it.

Oh yeah, then there is the obvious falsity of his implant. It is quite clearly a small capacitor that he but the leads off of. He does nothing to disguise it further… let this be a lesson to all you would be weird auctioneers: Spend some time to do it right, if you are going to do it at all!

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Selling Price: $0.99
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