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Archive for August, 2005



Very expensive jelly bean

The entire purpose of this auction is to buy something really worthless for an obscene amount of money. That way, by virtue of sheer stupidity, the purchase immediately becomes news worthy and brings the buyer great publicity. Well, it worked for Golden Palace Casino.
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Selling Price: $1000000.00
0 bids

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Snipe hunting

A Snipe is a kind of bird, I think. Somehow you are supposed to catch this bird with a pot, a spoon, a flashlight, and a sack. UM… Have you lost your mind? The only way you are going to catch anything with this kit is if you get that thing drunk enough that it stumbles into your bag.
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Selling Price: $26.00
7 bids

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Get rich quick

WHY do you put this picture in the listing if you want me to take you seriously? Because you don't want me to take you seriously, you want me to see that picture and get all horny, then while my mind is weak you are going to convince me to send you 10 bucks so that I can find out how to get rich quick… in case you haven't gotten it yet, this is a scam!
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Selling Price: \$9.99

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Magic acne removing cloth

Teenagers, your savior has arrived. This cloth is guaranteed to remove acne? Please, allow The Dunce to explain. First you get the cloth wet, then you apply soap. Next scrub your face vigorously with the cloth. Finally splash water on your face to remove any soap residue. Repeat those steps twice daily and I promise (in 2-3 years) your acne will clear up for good!
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Selling Price: \$5.00

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Ice capsule

1000 years from now, someone will wonder how this plastic capsul got to the arctic. You bought this auction and the rights to have your item incased in ice, and thrown overboard some science vessel in the middle of the arctic… There are better ways to preserve your legacy.
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Selling Price: $82.00
44 bids

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